A dignified farewell before arrival
Losing your own child is one of the worst blows of fate. Such a loss is also difficult for expectant parents to cope with: they are preparing for a new life - and are suddenly confronted with death. In order to provide space for their grief, a new field for star children will be set up at the New Cemetery in Offenbach by the beginning of 2020. In the RUHEPUNKT interview, hospital chaplains Angelika Habicht-Preis and Bernhard Brantzen talk about the grieving process for orphaned parents and the importance of having your own burial site.
Who exactly is the new "Sternenkinderfeld" aimed at?
Habicht-Preis: The service is intended for parents of children who are not subject to burial, who were born without signs of life and weighed less than 500 grams at birth.
How do affected parents and their relatives deal with this?
Habicht-Preis: It varies greatly depending on the individual relationship and cultural background. The grief can be overwhelming, especially with wanted children. Some mothers have already felt the child's movements and cannot believe that it will not be able to live.
Brantzen: This is why women grieve differently to men - but expectant grandparents or siblings are also affected. Some are barely able to face this loss, and the topic has not yet been accepted by society.
What role does a special burial site play for families?
Brantzen: A dignified place to say goodbye and grieve is very important. It also helps to deal openly with the pain or feelings of guilt and to talk about them: Talking can liberate and mutually strengthen those affected. In this respect, the burial ground at the New Cemetery in Offenbach, which has existed since 2001, is very important. We offer a burial and funeral service here every first Tuesday of the quarter, to which we always invite an imam
What were and are the reactions to this "grove of the unborn"?
Habicht-Preis: The parents call it "stillborn", which we find more appropriate. That's why we prefer to call it the burial ground of the "star children", which is of course only an auxiliary term. Many people visit this place regularly, bringing Christmas decorations, Easter bunnies or a pinwheel. The mourning vacations themselves are attended by very different people. Anyone who wants to can talk to us afterwards at the cemetery meeting point - a family of eight recently took advantage of this offer. There is often a need for name tags for older children, and we are pleased that these are planned for the new field.
Lighthouse for the star children
A new star children's field will be created in the middle of the New Cemetery by January 2020. There are plans for "burial islands" with a lighthouse as the central sculpture. Parents who have given their stillborn child a name can have a corresponding plaque attached to a basalt stele. Since November 2001, there has already been a small field for star children in the cemetery, but it has not yet been possible to affix name plaques.
Approximately 6,000 euros are still missing to realize the new field. The Offenbach hospitals and the cemetery administration are therefore now looking for sponsors and donors to support the project.
Anyone interested is asked to contact 069 / 84 00 04 590.
Cemetery administration
Friedhofsverwaltung
Mühlheimer Straße 425
63075 Offenbach
Notes on accessibility
Disabled parking spaces available
Notes on accessibility
Further information
Visitor parking lot in Ulmenstraße
Opening hours
The cemeteries are open as follows:
November through February:
Monday-Friday: 8:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
Saturday, Sunday and public holidays: 8.00 a.m. - 5.00 p.m.
March and October:
Monday-Friday: 7.00 a.m. - 6.00 p.m.
Saturday, Sunday and public holidays: 8.00 a.m. - 6.00 p.m.
April to September:
Monday-Friday: 7.00 a.m. - 8.00 p.m.
Saturday, Sunday and public holidays: 7.00 a.m. - 8.00 p.m.