Approaching life and death

Ms. Sieling, what connects you to the "Treffpunkt Friedhof"?
I became aware of the association's events soon after it was founded in 2012. I was very interested in the program - for example on burial cultures of other religions - especially as it took place on site at the cemetery. I really appreciate the work of the association's chairman Alexander Kaestner. I learned a lot from him in lectures and discussions. Death comes, even if we don't give it a place in our lives. It is important to me to break down the speechlessness about it.

Is that why you are involved in the ecumenical hospice movement?
Yes, I trained as a volunteer hospice companion in 2015/16 and later also as a bereavement counselor. Part of this is dealing with my own death: What remains of me? What do I want to leave behind? The aim is to overcome the fear of death in oneself and others - and those who deal with death are less afraid.

How do these experiences flow into the "Treffpunkt Friedhof"?
Basically, my aim is to accompany the dying and their relatives, to really listen to them. This brings life and death together, which can be enriching, for example by living more consciously. In cemeteries, you can consciously feel the peace and quiet that we often miss in the big city.

What plans do you have for the coming year?
If the pandemic situation allows, I would like to offer regular meetings for mourners in our association building at the New Cemetery. I can also imagine guided walks around the grounds or joint hikes. Here, offers can be combined with the hospice movement: This is not competition, but cooperation. That's why I was delighted when Mr. Kaestner asked me if I would like to take over the chairmanship of the association.

Do you have any tips for dealing with bereaved people?
We are too afraid of doing something wrong and therefore often prefer not to do anything at all. From my point of view, we can be authentic and laugh at a funeral service, even though I'm heartbroken. Humor can help us approach the subject of death. And: we should give mourners all the time they need to come to terms with a loss.

For health reasons, the co-founder and long-standing chairman of "Treffpunkt Friedhof", Alexander Kaestner, was unable to speak at this point. The cemetery administration and the association would like to thank him from the bottom of their hearts for his commitment and wish him all the best.
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